woman using online dating app on phone
Published On: January 23, 2019|Categories: Relationships|

Online dating, while definitely a realm of its own, can be just as emotionally challenging as traditional dating. Additionally, it has the unique possibility of increasing the chance of rejection. Whereas you might be rejected occasionally in the traditional sphere of dating, so many possible matches online mean so many more opportunities to be rejected.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you should avoid online dating. It just means that proceeding with an emphasis on self-awareness and knowing your own limits is key.

Why is self-awareness important?

So many people date online. The sheer number of dating apps/sites and the number of users on each platform attest to this. It can be tempting to jump on the trend when it might feel like the only way people meet each other nowadays.

However, online dating (just like all trends) is not for everyone. Yes, it has been highly successful for some people, but for others, it might not be something they like, are comfortable with or want to do anymore — this is okay!

When it comes to dating online, it’s important to know yourself and ask yourself, “Am I willing and able to handle the rejection from online dating? Do I want to put myself in a position where frequent rejection is possible?” If the answer is no, don’t be ashamed — be proud of that level of self-awareness and wait until the time is right.

If you aren’t concerned with the possibility of rejection and don’t find yourself taking what happens online personally, online dating can be a unique way of meeting new people!

Dealing with rejection while dating online

Anyone and everyone experiences rejection while dating online — even if you reject people when swiping through profiles or ignoring unappealing messages. It’s simply how online dating works.

But what about when you find yourself, despite your best efforts, becoming frustrated and dejected from the lack of connections? What should you do when someone ghosts you again? What are some online dating tips to help make the experience a fruitful one, despite setbacks?

While there is no online dating rulebook, there are a number of self-care and mental health strategies to employ when navigating dating apps.

Don’t take it personally

It can be really challenging to not internalize rejection. Especially when it seems to be constant, it can be very tempting to begin wondering “What’s wrong with me?”

Don’t go there – easier said than done sometimes, but often the ghosting or fizzling out of a connection doesn’t have much (if anything) to do with you. Perhaps the person you were talking with had something happen in their life where they didn’t have the time or energy to date; maybe they realized online dating wasn’t for them and simply deleted the app.

You can’t always have a reason for these things, so instead of spending unnecessary time wondering what happened or what you might have done wrong (which could have been absolutely nothing), do your best to let it go.

Be aware of the number of choices

There are so many options for potential matches online and so many apps to try and find matches on — understandably, you’d think that because of this you’d be receiving countless messages. But just as you have a ton of options, so, too, do the other people on the app.

Based on the algorithms these apps use, it might be that the right person simply has not seen your profile yet. It might take more time than you realize to find your match. Keep in mind when dating online that multiple possibilities don’t always mean multiple, perfect matches. After all, you’re just looking for the one.

Take a break if needed

If you find yourself becoming discouraged from strings of messages that don’t go anywhere or other situations that have burned out or flopped, it might be time to consider giving yourself a break. Online dating is unique in that you’re continuously putting yourself in a position to be bypassed, swiped passed or ghosted — of course, this can become tiring!

If you think your mental health could benefit from a break, you can easily delete your app for a period of time. They will undoubtedly be there when you choose to come back. Take some time to focus on yourself, remind yourself that your worth is not determined by the number of matches made by an AI algorithm and jump back in only when you are ready. 

Consider the amount of rejection

If you are on multiple dating apps with multiple messages on each, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of a lot of rejection. This isn’t necessarily a right or wrong thing — just something to be aware of.

If you find that it becomes too much, and failed conversations are more frequent than successful ones, consider minimizing the opportunities for rejection. Maybe only have one or two dating apps to help. Because even though they say there is plenty of fish in the sea, having all of those choices can be severely overwhelming and plain unnecessary.

Additional support when experiencing rejection

If you have suffered rejection to the point that it’s affecting your quality of life and mental health, it might be worth talking to a professional who can help you realize new perspectives and guide you towards a better state mentally.

To speak with someone today, call The Light Program at 610-644-6464 or contact us via our website. 

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